The art of sustainable growth
After returning from summer holidays, I was bursting with energy, feeling refreshed and inspired. Immersing myself in the daily grind, throwing myself into work. Busy shifts at the café, waking up extra early on some days, staying late for closing shifts on others. Being constantly on my feet, serving people and keeping an overview. And then my favorite parts of the week: dedicating every free minute to building my yoga teaching path. Preparing and teaching classes, planning and advertising my own yoga classes, application processes to teach more hours in other places, accounting, reading, and learning, etc. Long hours flew by as I skipped breaks and days off, hanging on to the unconscious belief that I could “get there faster” if only I put in maximum energy.
Getting where though? And at what cost? Instead of taking the necessary time to gain slowly yet steadily more and more teaching experience, building my life brick by brick, I was heading straight in the direction of getting overwhelmed doing what I love.
It was after another long shift at the café that I was biking home, feeling tired and exhausted. That voice in my head shouted (once) again: “Listen to your body!” I was about to shush it when I realized that no – I’m not going there again. My body was basically telling me what I already knew deep down but wasn’t ready to listen to. But then I was smart enough to decide to “give in”.
Let me make this clear, I’m genuinely happy with where I stand in my life, but there are definitely some changes I can make for the better, and I need to make them NOW. I told my closest ones that I feel drained and overwhelmed, sought out for support, and sat myself down to think about what changes in my daily life are the most important ones I need to make.
And it came down to 2 essential ones (for now):
Number 1 is to shift down a gear in my productivity.
I concluded that the way and the speed I was moving were not sustainable. I need to step up for myself, and that means first and foremost starting to plan and take time off again. Something I somehow didn’t feel entitled to anymore, as I had (or took) the privilege to start making a living by something I deeply felt purpose in, teaching yoga. I was blind to the fact that everyone needs rest.
Ever since I’ve also started working in gastronomy, there hasn’t been normal good old two-day-long weekends. Two days off in a row (and I mean the relaxing-kinda-day-off) – became actually a very rare thing. A day off during the week has always filled up with “just quickly doing this admin work” or “a little planning here, a little preparing there,” and boom, the day was gone.
And then there is change number 2, embrace my own life’s pace by relearning the art of living with patience.
Trusting the timing of my life, taking step by step, building slowly but with a proper foundation, with depth. Nothing fruitful ever came out of stirring your life full speed over the highway to “get there faster” anyway. Reminding myself that everything needs time to grow.
Just to give a bit more perspective: You can’t make a plant grow faster by simply pouring more and more water on it every day. You water it when the soil gets dry, and you make sure it has enough light and so on. You can’t force the plant to thrive; it will grow at its own pace.
So now I’m off implementing my two changes day after day, giving myself more regular time to take rest and practice patience. Letting go of the belief that I can make things happen faster than they naturally take. To take on something with heart and soul, without the need to put unnecessary force upon it.
Let me finish off with this thought: Everything that comes from force will lose its power at some point.
I believe in shifting the focus from moving ahead (fast) to finding balance (which includes falling out of it again, making changes and re-adjusting). I’m referring to the balance between the passion of what you do on the one hand, and self-care (aka rest!) on the other hand. I’m sure that this will lead to more sustainable growth of goals and dreams, mine and yours!
